Two Weeks Until Freedom

My final exam in the class from hell, Professional Responsibility, is next Monday. What that really means is I will no longer have to sit through a class that teaches "ethics" to "liars"...Oops, I meant "lawyers". hahaha. 

Here are just a few basic rules that lawyers clearly can't wrap their heads around without the help of an entire three credit course:

1. Don't have sex with your clients. Example: Self-Explanatory
2. Don't steal your clients' money. Example: Skimming money off the top of your client's trust fund to pay personal expenses = not okay.
3. Don't seek out clients at funerals. Example: Grandpa dies, visit grandson to tell him how he is getting screwed out of his inheritance by his mother.
4. Don't pressure clients to be your clients. Example: Visiting a woman who was just in a car accident at the hospital in an attempt to earn her business is not okay.
5. Don't "borrow" money from your clients' trusts. Example: Taking money from your client's trust and thinking you will pay it back within a few hours, so it's not a big deal...still not okay.
6. Don't tell your clients you are going to do something and not do it. Example: "I filed your petition last week" When in reality you don't even remember what you promised your client you'd file...really NOT okay.
7. Call your clients back when they call you. Example: Self-Explanatory.
8. Don't put your client's money in your bank account until you've earned it. Example: Your client writes you a retainer check for your services and you put it directly in your personal account and buy a new car with it. The ABA isn't going to like that. Nope.
9. A lawyer cannot represent two opposing parties in litigation. Example: "Counselor who do you represent?" asks the Judge. "Your honor, I represent Mr. Smith AND Mrs. Smith in this divorce proceeding". Uhhhhh, yeah, really not okay. 

And so on...

My teacher explained rather articulately that the reason "Professional Responsibility" exists is because many attorneys when faced with the possibility of losing their bar license for violating one of these common sense rules would claim ignorance. 

We all know, ignorance of the law is not an excuse. So just to make it clear to every new lawyer out there that the Bar Association meant business, they enacted the most mindless and ridiculous course ever imagined and they named it "Professional Responsibility". 

Now every "forgetful" lawyer can't claim ignorance because he or she sat through this hellish class and learned all the rules.